Thirty Something..
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Blog EntryChicken Joke, Pt. 2Oct 31, '07 10:18 AM
for everyone

Mengapa Ayam Menyeberang Jalan? (Menurut Para Ahli)

Berikut adalah beberapa jawaban dari:

~Guru TK
“Supaya sampai ke ujung jalan.”

~Plato
“Untuk mencari kebaikan yang lebih baik.”

~Polisi
“Beri saya lima menit dengan ayam itu, saya akan tahu kenapa.”

~Aristoteles
“Karena merupakan sifat alami dari ayam.”

~Captain James T. Kirk
“Karena dia ingin pergi ke tempat yang belum pernah ia datangi.”

~Martin Luther King, Jr.
“Saya memimpikan suatu dunia yang membebaskan semua ayam menyeberang jalan tanpa mempertanyakan kenapa.”

~Machiavelli
Poin pentingnya adalah ayam menyeberang jalan! Siapa yang peduli kenapa! Akhir dari penyeberangan akan menentukan motivasi ayam itu.”

~Sigmund Freud
“Fakta bahwa kalian semua begitu peduli pada alasan ayam itu menunjukkan ketidaknyamanan seksual kalian yang tersembunyi.”

~George W. Bush
“Kami tidak peduli kenapa ayam itu menyeberang! Kami cuma ingin tau apakah ayam itu ada di pihak kami atau tidak, apa dia bersama kami atau melawan kami. Tidak ada pihak tengah di sini!”

~Darwin
“Ayam telah melalui periode waktu yang luar biasa, telah melalui seleksi alam dengan cara tertentu dan secara alami tereliminasi dengan menyeberang jalan.”

~Albert Einstein
“Apakah ayam itu menyeberang jalan atau jalan yang bergerak di bawah ayam itu, itu semua tergantung pada sudut pandang kita sendiri.”

~Nelson Mandela
“Tidak akan pernah lagi ayam ditanyai kenapa menyeberang jalan! Dia adalah panutan yang akan saya bela sampai mati.”

~Thabo Mbeki
“Kita harus mencari tau apakah memang benar ada kolerasi antara ayam dan jalan.”

~Mugabe
“Setelah sekian lama jalan dikuasai petani kulit putih, ayam miskin yang tertindas telah menanti terlalu lama agar jalan itu diberikan kepadanya dan sekarang dia menyeberanginya dengan dorongan ayam-ayam veteran perang. Kami bertekad mengambil alih jalan tersebut dan memberikannya pada ayam, sehingga dia bisa menyeberanginya tanpa ketakutan yang diberikan oleh pemerintahan inggris yang berjanji akan mereformasi jalan itu. Kami tidak akan berhenti sampai ayam yang tidak punya jalan itu punya jalan untuk diseberangi dan punya kemerdekaan untuk menyeberanginya!”

~Sir Isaac Newton
” Semua ayam di bumi ini akan menyeberang jalan secara tegak lurus dalam garis lurus yang tidak terbatas dalam kecepatan yang seragam, terkecuali jika ayam berhenti karena ada reaksi yang tidak seimbang dari arah berlawanan.”

~Sutiyoso
“Itu ayam pasti ingin naik busway.”

~Programmer
“Tidak semua ayam dapat menyeberang jalan, maka dari itu perlu adanya interface untuk ayam yaitu nyeberangable, ayam-ayam yg ingin atau bisa menyeberang diharuskan untuk mengimplementasikan interface nyeberangable, jadi d sini sudah jelas terlihat bahwa antara ayam dengan jalan sudah loosely coupled.”

~Harmoko
“Berdasarkan petunjuk Bapak Presiden.”

~L. Benny Moerdani
“Selidiki! Apakah ada unsur subversif?”

~Gus Dur
“Gitu Aja Kok Repot?”

~Megawati Soekarnoputri
“Ayamnya pasti Wong Cilik. Dia Jalan Kaki toh.”

~Aburizal Bakrie
“Pasti ayam ngungsi dari Lapindo.”

~Komunitas Radio
“Saran gw doi stay tune aja dulu di pinggir jalan sambil gw temenin dengan berbagai koleksi asyik.. Jangan kemana-mana ya..”

~Komunitas Kajian Politik
“Kalaupun ada yang pengen bantu ayam itu menyeberang, pastikan dia non-partisan dan professional, supaya tidak ada conflict off interest, dan yang tidak kalah penting jangan lupa track record-nya harus bersih..”

~Komunitas Ekonomi
“Harus dipikirkan lagi, supaya pemerintah tidak salah langkah dalam membantu si ayam menyeberang, karena kita bersama tentu maklum kalau planning tidak selalu berjalan sebagaimana kita harapkan, lagipula kebijakan pemerintah dalam hal ‘membantu’ ini sering mengorbankan kestabilan sektor riil..”

~Komunitas Ahli Hukum
“Eh.. apakah ‘membantu ayam menyeberang jalan’ sudah ada yurisprodensi-nya ? Sudah pernah diputus kasus-nya di tingkat MA?”

(dari www.ketawa.com dan dari milis sebelah, selamat menikmati..)


Blog EntryChicken Joke, Pt. 1Oct 31, '07 10:10 AM
for everyone

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
Here are some of the answers..

~George W. Bush
“Look, it’s tough crossin’ the road. The chicken knows it’s tough. The American people have got to understand that I know the chicken knows it’s tough. I read the report. But the chicken’s on the march. And it will get the job done .”

~Albert Einstein
“That depends on the observer’s inertial frame of reference.”

~Mr. Spock’s
“Did the chicken cross the road? If he crossed the road certainly he had no reason to as a chicken as it would mean expending more effort than the food he would find on the other side could provide the energy for. If he crossed the road…. that can only mean that Colonel Sanders was close behind and closing in on him. Captain- if we can approach Colonel Sanders from the correct approaching angle, we may stop him from strangling the chicken.” *Looks pensive, then checks Captain*.

~Cast of LOST
Jack Sheppard: “I don’t know, maybe the chicken was just moving in that direction. Why does it have to mean anything that it crossed the road?”
John Locke: “The Island demanded that the chicken cross at that moment.”
Sawyer: “Why are you so interested in the damn chicken, Colonel Sanders? Tired of mangos?”
Sayid, calmly: “I know more about chickens and the use of them crossing roads than I care to remember. I don’t know what is more disturbing. The fact that that chicken has crossed the road, or that it has only three toes.”
Early Shannon: “Ohmygod Boone, why should we care if the chicken crossed the road or not? It has nothing to do with us.”
Hugo “Hurley” Reyes: “Dude, did you see a chicken come this way?”

~Malcolm X
“The chicken didn’t cross that road, the road crossed that chicken.”

~Bob Dylan
“How many roads must a chicken then cross, before you call him a rooster?”

~Norah Jones
“Don’t know why the chicken decided to cross the road alone.”

~Sarah McLachlan
“Listen as the chicken crosses the road’s great divide. The joke is its companion and that chicken won’t be denied!”

~Coldplay
“The chicken crossed the road for you and everything you did. And the chicken was all yellow.”

~Joni Mitchell
“The chickens looked at roads from both sides now, but still somehow its the roads illusion it recalls. Chickens don’t really know roads at all.”

~Cat Stevens
“The chicken had so much left to know so it went on the road to find out.”

~Louis Armstrong
“If you have to ask why chickens cross roads you’ll never know.”

~Billie Holiday
“If a chicken takes a notion to cross a road or ocean. Well it ain’t nobody’s business if it do.”

~Enya
“The great journey that was before the chicken then was what was destined to be. Now the chicken is sorrowful, the road is long past.” (When translated from Irish Gaelic)

~John F. Kennedy
“Whyyy…did the chicken, cross the road?”
*thumps podium*
“He crossed the road… to give his life.
He did it,… not for himself,………. but he did it… for his fellow chickens.
As a warning,…
And a brave and noble thing it was… that he did.”

~Dana Scully
“The simplest explanation is the most likely, now calm down and start behaving rationally.”

~The Cast of House
Cameron: “We should watch the chicken, but not force it or manipulate it. Find out what that tells us about its past actions, but not do anything dishonest.”
Chase: “It’s just a chicken. It was probably running away from some fat American kid.”
Foreman: “You’re both wrong it’s a neurological reaction to stimuli. Come on people.”
House: “Actually you’re all wrong. The real question is why should we care? The answer is we shouldn’t. Next case. Oh and give me my damn pills!”

~Jules Verne
“Under a 125 F.At 36 degree North and 115 degree East, and at 03:00 GMT, Professor Chicken entered history as his Cannon propelled him through the road.”

~Sherlock Holmes
“I deduce this was a Rock Island hen, eleven months old, and that it was kept in a mesh cage composed of galvanized iron. Surely Watson, you can see this is a festive Sunday afternoon, and the chicken is but one step ahead of the family stew pot.”

(From http://www.chickenjoke.com)


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